Off with Her Royal Head

"Your throne, O God, will last for ever and ever;
a scepter of justice will be the scepter of your kingdom."
( Psalm 45:6)

"Whenever the living creatures give glory, honor, and thanks to him who sits on the throne and who lives for ever and ever, the twenty-four elders fall down before him who sits on the throne, and worship him who lives for ever and ever. They lay their crowns before the throne and say:
'You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power,
for You created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being.'"

(Revelation 4:9-11)


Before hanging up the phone, even while reluctantly wrapping up the conversation, I knew I would have to attend to wrestling my ego down to the ground. Too many nice things verbalized about me in a row. Not enough balance (or might someone add truth?) to keep the equation from crashing over the edge into the beckoning Land of Narcissus, replete with fun-house mirrors that make me look slender and twenty years younger.

Our egos are sprightly things; they don't take to eternal death well. We can hunt them ruthlessly, flail them with heavy spiked bats, and stomp the stuffing out of them. And yet they rise like a phoenix from the ashes, hardly rumpled and actually looking refreshed. After such a search-and-destroy mission, my impish and undying ego generally greets me bedside in the morning.
"Now, as I was saying...." , she begins, eager to set her beautiful self aright on the throne in the center of the universe. She is already adjusting her crown and rearranging her royal robes as she addresses me.

This phone conversation was really about other things: wallpaper, for example. And also about a really insightful snippet that the person on the other end of the line found in the Bible, and how it was immediately applicable to his (and possibly my) life. I delighted in my friend's rediscovery that
a) it's not all about him
b) his efforts to improve his messed up internal state are futile, and
c) that our infinitely good God blamelessly guards us from danger and destruction (probably mostly from our own selves). See 1 Thess 5:23.
All this was followed by extended sincere compliments directed toward me. Which were totally appropriate, mind you, in that they drove me to self-examination.

As I clean the clutter around the house today, I hope to mirror the same work inside this tent I carry around. Self-examination is a discipline that begs honesty, uncompromising standards, sharp pruning shears, and squinty eyes that can zero in on what lurks in the mud of indifference.

And if Queen Ego gets a little more accustomed to being kicked off her high horse, then I am that much closer to the ultimate goal.