Wednesday, May 07, 2008

an hour in the garden

I worked in my garden today. It was partially satisfying.

10:14 am I don old sneakers and garden gloves; walk toward the garden.
I pull one, maybe two weeds.
The phone rings. It's for me and it involves coming inside to consult a calendar.
The sneakers and gloves come off.

10:25 am The sneakers and gloves go on.
I walk toward the garden and then remember I need scissors to cut some twine.
This time the sneakers stay on. (#1 Daughter has to wash the kitchen floor anyway.)

10:37 am The black flies find me. That's alright; I have to dash into the barn anyway to find a shovel.

10:39 am They found me again.

10:40 am A black fly gets lodged in my eye. I hate that.

10:42 am I go into the house to wash the black fly out of my eye. (sneakers, gloves: off)
After no success at the kitchen sink, I run upstairs (with one eye shut and dripping wet) to find a Q-tip.
After much maniacal swabbing, success.
sneakers, gloves: on.

10:48 am I pull six, maybe seven weeds.
I remember I have to email something.
sneakers, gloves: off

10:58 am sneakers ---never, mind. You get the idea.
the black flies found me again. (actually, they were waiting for me.)
ha! I outsmart them with sunglasses. They can't get into my eyes now.
I run around the garden twice (10x20 = 60 feetx2 = 120 feet total) to throw them off the scent anyway.

11:06 am I pull eight weeds and find three large spiders.
I am not afraid of regular spiders. Just large ones.
-and ones that crawl out of the dirt unexpectedly.

11:13 am In triumph, I extract at least a dozen stubborn, long-rooted weeds.
They look like carrots. Or wisdom-teeth gone wild.
They smell like dirt. I whack a spider to death with one.
I get dirt in my eye despite the sunglasses.
Christians should never swear or even think swear-words
or anything remotely like swear-words.

11:14 am The black flies have found the breech. They are now between the lenses of the sunglasses and my eyes.
I run around the garden once. (only 60 feet this time)
I flee.

(oh yeah. Sneakers, gloves: off.)


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