hearing voices

#1 Daughter (in a tattle-tale voice): "Mo-omm....Renee is hitting her wall with a du---uckk."

Me (upon hearing what #1 Son bought a family member for Christmas): "Are you sure you HAVE that kind of money?"
#1 Son: "Well, I don't have it now, but obviously I did when I bought it."

Hubby (noting the hand-written sign on the tupperware): "Are these cookies still poisonous?"
Me: "Yes, until tomorrow evening."