Monday, July 20, 2009

Amish jokes

I approached the wooden side porch with a twinge of trepidation. After all, I was on Amish property in an Amish neighborhood to buy their cherries, and I drove a red PT there, not a black buggy. I was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, not a dark blue bonnet and a full-length black dress fastened with pins.

Two men sat in wooden chairs. The king of the domain, a robust Amish man with a beard, held a lined notebook in his work-worn hands. With a fat pencil, he checked off my order for sour cherries. I asked him meekly what I owed him and he looked me over with narrowing eyes.

"Where do you get you shoes repaired?" he said matter-of-factly in clipped English.

"Um. Excuse me?" I stuttered politely. I shifted my weight from left to right nervously.

"WHERE do you get your shoes repaired?" he again inquired. I thought I detected a twinkle begind his bushy eyebrows.

"Uhhh....the shoe makers?"

"No!" he roared, gesturing to the sole of his leather shoe. "Where the seam is coming apart!"
Together, the two men shared a merry look and then grew serious once again.

"How is your English? Good?"

"Ye-e-sss...." I ventured, knowing another joke was on its way.

"Well, then. Is it 'the yolk of an egg IS white" or 'the yolk of an egg ARE white' ? "

I pride myself in my command of English grammar, which is what blinded me in taking the bait.
"It's 'the yolk of an egg IS white!" I stated emphatically.

"No!" roared again. The yolk of an egg is YELLOW!"

This obvious proclamation was followed by hearty chuckles and plenty of good-natured shrugging of shoulders between themselves.

Fifty pounds of sour cherries and two jokes for 35 bucks. Not a bad deal.

4 Comments:

Blogger Darlene Sinclair said...

Oh... sour cherries...
Oh...
How do I get there? Do you suppose he has extra? I have helpers now who could freeze them for me.

12:10 AM  
Blogger Liz said...

ok... first, that story is hilarious! second, did you say FIFTY POUNDS of cherries? that's a lot of cherries. that's like two daniels' babies worth of cherries! i like cherries. and i like babies. and i like you. :)

7:13 AM  
Blogger Backyard Garden Musings said...

what do you do with 50 pounds of cherries?
margaret

7:59 AM  
Blogger thisrequiresthought said...

20 for Paula, 20 for me, and 10 for Judes! I pit & freeze them for desserts. SO. VERY. YUMMY.

Dar: call Paula for directions and whether or not she thinks they may have extra.

8:28 AM  

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